There’s a moment in some conversations where you can feel the ground shift a little. Nothing dramatic happens. No one blows up or storms out. It’s quieter than that – almost like a soft wobble in the room that tells you two people walked away believing they agreed on something when, in reality, things couldn’t be further from the truth.
Most of the time, that wobble has nothing to do with miscommunication. Rather, it comes from what happened before anyone spoke. It comes from expectations carried through the door by everyone involved but were never expressed out loud.
Every organization has them. The leader who assumes everyone already knows what’s a priority on the collective roadmap. The person who thinks ownership is implied and has already planned everything to a “T.” The teammate who takes silence as a green light and fills in the absence of direction with their own goals. These expectations sit just under the surface, shaping decisions and interactions long before a single word is uttered.
That’s usually where the friction starts.
Unspoken expectations create an insidious pressure in the background of organizational relationships. They make people feel behind when no one ever defined what “ahead” looks like. They turn simple tasks into confusing gopher holes. They create moments where everyone walks away thinking they’re on the same page when, really, they’re holding different books.
Why does this happen so often?
Because whatever feels obvious to us feels universal. Our logic makes sense to us. Our experience feels shared. Our rhythm feels like the natural rhythm.
But communication doesn’t work that way.
What feels intuitive for one person might not even register for someone else. And inside any organization where roles overlap and work moves quickly, the cost of those invisible expectations adds up fast. People hesitate to ask questions because they don’t want to look uninformed. Deadlines stretch. Tension builds. A project that should be simple suddenly feels heavier than it needs to be.
Here’s the part people overlook: the fix is usually much easier than anyone realizes.
Naming expectations is one of the simplest, kindest things you can do for the people you work with and one of the best things you can do to build a roadmap for success. It removes guesswork. It turns assumptions into shared understanding. It shifts the energy from “you should have known” to “now we’re all clear,” which is a far better place to build trust.
And it doesn’t require a huge process. Often, it’s as small as saying, “Here’s what I’m expecting,” or asking, “What does success look like from your perspective?” Those tiny clarifications reduce the wobble. They create steadiness. They help people walk in the same direction with a lot less friction.
Every organization runs into this at some point. But the ones that communicate well are the ones willing to bring expectations out into the open. When that happens, the work gets lighter, trust gets stronger, and everyone can breathe a little easier.
If you’re noticing these moments in your own organization and want help bringing more clarity into the conversation, drop me a note. I’d love to help.
